I keep feeling like I'm wasting my life. I'm not sure I have any worthwhile goals, I'm not really achieving anything, I'm not really making progress on anything. I barely have any energy to do anything. It feels like the only things I do are the bare minimum to keep my head above water; pay bills, do tax returns, all the many household chores I'm barely keeping up with. Even *actual* goals, like make my business cash flow positive instead of negative, feel like they are merely things I ought to do so I can carry on surviving instead of being things I actually want to do with my life. The things I *want* to do are mainly pie-in-the-sky things I daydream about but will probably never manage to achieve, partly because of the above but also because they are probably not practically achievable anyway. I'm over 50 and still have NO FUCKING IDEA what I want out of life (that's actually practically achievable).
That definitely resonates here. But then I feel I have to weigh it up against the current state of the world, where those who can and do influence it the most seem to be intent on making things worse.
My approach is to try to carry on, on whatever small things I'm doing, try to make them positive for everyone where possible. If there were a net positive effect, even small, and everyone did that, we'd be out of this situation and able to start doing what we want.
I feel it can happen, so I'm going to try to make it happen. I do see lots of lots of lovely people out there. You're one of them.
