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i think vrchat reminds me too much of going to bars and not being able to socialize because i don't know anyone and then going home and wondering what's wrong with me fundamentally as a human being because i don't know why people have fun at social events like that
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K.T. mastodon (AP)
damn, yeah…
Mycroft πŸ‡ mastodon (AP)

YES

I can do small gatherings of 5 or so if I already know one of them

I did go to a couple recurring meetups where there was a for real host that did real host stuff like at a party, where they're at the door to greet everyone personally, found people being awkward and pulling them together in groups of 3-4 based on common interests and got a conversation started, floated around between to check on on everyone, the whole thing. the only time I've ever been in an instance with double digit population and not feeling awful

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Takiro 🎨 mastodon (AP)
Going to places without bringing someone or already knowing someone there always feels weird.

"well you need friends to show you around these social places"

yeah y'all neurotypical motherfuckers said we just "make friends" by going outside and talking to people, not the Catch 22 of "you need friends to make friends". update your verbiage.

Kay Ohtie mastodon (AP)

Content warning: Long, plea to ascribe fewer things to "NT vs ND" that end up erasing friends

I feel ya. I mainly just do VRChat when there's a group event where I know at least one person in attendance... If I'm completely on my own in unfamiliar territory, it makes me feel panicky and I rarely end up enjoying it. But that said, for me personally, finding group meets with common shared interests has helped a lot. Like Morghus's Wing Meet, or the VR Gameshow Nights - among others. It took some time but I've gotten to where, at least sometimes, I can feel comfortable joining some of the group meetups even if none of my friends have joined yet.

One other thing I'll do sometimes is log on and just chill in my home world. I'll throw a DJ set or some other fun video into the video player in that world, and then set my status to "join me". That advertises to creatures who have me friended on there that I'm looking to be social without being too "in your face" about it. It's not a perfect method, but I've found that it does work often enough to be useful when I wanna be social but don't have the spoons for dealing with crowds or when no group events are going on.

Also just for the record, I think you're a pretty cool birb. If you would like to, feel free to add me as a friend on there and we can hang out sometime! :dragnhappy: (edit: you can find a link to my VRChat profile on my Fursona Directory page, which I have in my bio)

This entry was edited (2 weeks ago)
Pippin friendica
I tried VR Chat once. Pottered around a few worlds which apparently had other furries in, even found one with some people I knew in (amongst lots of other people) but was too scared to actually come into visual range of anyone. Just hid, skulked around the perimeter, admired the 3D world for a bit, and finally fled. Even my crippling shyness would probably find it easier to talk to people in real life, honestly.
Pippin friendica
Huh. It occurs that one place I *have* been able to talk reasonably esily in a virtual world is in Minecraft. I go there with the expectation that I'll just bibble around on my own, and if someone else arrives there's nothing *requiring* talking, which somehow makes it easier. Weirdly, the fact that it's not there just for chatting makes it easier to start chatting.